I didn’t write a single thing over Christmas break. Which is rather astounding considering how much I told myself that I wanted to. And truly, I think I actually did want to, but sometimes what we seem to want the most is something that we have a hard time actually acquiring.Often times my best writing happens when I let words flow onto the page without having any clear direction. The problem I faced when I was home, was I had the conscious thought that I wanted to write so much, that my mind limited me from the creative ability to actually write. Ironically enough, I am now writing amidst the homework I should be doing during the first night of the new term. Often what we desire the most can only truly come to the floor when we allow it to naturally flow out of us or go through a process.
Is that not what passion is? Something that we do out of its inability to be held inside us for too long but instead naturally comes out? That’s why it is interesting when we come in contact with people who so earnestly say they desire or aspire to something yet never really make it to the point where they can prove the words they speak. We often convince ourselves of the reality we desire, rather than actually just letting ourselves live out the desire that really is at the center of who we are. Humanity is one big masquerade party, we put on a facade because we are too scared to truly just be and to let things be.
What would happen though, if masks were taken off and we let spill out of us what's supposed to rather than persistently trying to do whatever it may be we say we desire? What if instead of convincing myself I wanted to write over break, I understood that the rest break offered was necessary and time away from writing was actually a good thing and that eventually writing would pour itself out of me? The things that we want, that we truly desire, and that we long for will undoubtedly make themselves present in our lives, but to force them out is unnatural. All of life goes through some type of birthing stage. Things that exist don’t just come into existence without being tied to some sort of process. Every tree starts out as a seed, every bird an egg. The process is what makes the product into what it is to become.
We are a culture fueled by the desire for instantaneous gratification and if we don’t get what we want we move on to a new project. That’s why there are so many apps in the app store, so many dating websites, and so many quick fixes to things that would benefit from patience. The embodiment of what is good requires time to grow, it requires patience and the understanding that something that is going to last will need time to become what it is to be.
The same is undeniably clear in not just life, but all things that are to eventually reach the state of thriving. All facets of life; love, growth, wisdom, etc require time, and not forced time either. They thrive as they wish. The wisest thing someone who is continuously and consciously trying to acquire wisdom will learn is that it is an impossible process, for wisdom is not something sought, but something that is formed through the experience of all other factors of life. The most beautiful things are not manufactured immediately. Love is not formed by trying to act on all the characteristics believed to be tied to it quickly. Love is patient, love is kind, it is a process, an unfolding narrative that requires time, effort, hardships, and a nearly infinite number of moments that ultimately unite. Like two dancers, lovers will step on each others feet long before they can sway in sync to where the rhythm takes them. It’s not quitting when the stepping on the feet happens that shows the signs of something real beginning to form.
Waiting while still actively participating is the way in which humanity can truly begin to encounter what beauty should and does look like. Anytime we let go of something because the fruit isn’t instantly ripe we miss all the possibilities ripe fruit has to offer. For fruit to become its best possible self it first has to wait and let the process of ripening occur.
Me wanting to write wasn’t something I could do instantly. I had to be patient, take a step back, and wait for the time in which writing could begin to manifest itself into something worth reading. In the same sense, we as humans cannot have what we want instantly, despite what adds, culture, and self help (even some facets of religion unfortunately) might tell us. Instead, we must be willing to endure the process, the difficulties, the hardships; for those are the very things that make the beauty of the reality we ultimately come to, whether it be love, wisdom, security, or numerous other things, that much more beautiful. Remember that even the tallest Redwood was once a seed, and the most beautiful cardinal an egg. To force something is to ultimately take away from the beautiful reality it has the potential to turn into.
